That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
