I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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