your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
