Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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