omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
