Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
