you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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