is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
