Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
