He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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