i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Can I color on your dick again?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
