I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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