Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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