I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
