what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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