just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
