somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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