her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
