Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
