..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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