mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
