Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
