Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I forgot how hot balto sounded
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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