I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
