carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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