Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize