her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
