im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Someone signed my nipple.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
