Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
