piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
