There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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