Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
try to milk me bitch
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