Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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