I need help removing her.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
