the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
