The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I don't deserve a penis
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
