Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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