i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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