So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
