You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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