would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
should my penis look like a turkey
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
