I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
