just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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