I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
