Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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