we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize