Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
