susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
