I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
50% drunk capacity currently
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
