Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im holly from the hills drunk
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
