Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
