drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think my fart just growled at me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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