Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
