Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
