I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
