I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize