You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
