My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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