He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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