He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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